New Years Resolutions
Written on Dec 31


Now I don't know about the rest of you, but I enjoy New Years. The impending holiday gives me a chance to drink more and fuck more without the scrutiny of society yelling "MODERATION" in my ear. The end of the year also allows everybody to reflect on all the trials and tribulations of the past 12 months and then make changes to improve the following year ahead. Everybody has New Years resolutions, but not me. I think resolutions are a load of festering shit. They are nothing more than a lie to make yourself seem better than you really are. It's time for Nick to kick some truth --

I mean, come on! How many people actually follow their New Years resolutions? If your New Years resolution was to lose a few pounds, will you actually lose any weight at all? I'm willing to bet my paycheck that you'll more then likely be the same weight next year or even fatter. (translation: you'll be fatter). Well, what if your resolution was to drink less or smoke less? Well that will all go to hell with time. By the time you get back to work and realize how pitiful and meaningless your mundane life really is, you'll start indulging yourself in more alcohol and more narcotics and nicotine to ease the suffering. Life is hard, right?

New Years resolutions are all about intentions. If Bobby tells Mary that his new Years resolution is to work out more, it's more or less saying, "Look Mary, I'm thinking about looking good, but I probably won't do it. I'm only telling you that so I can get in your pants". Girls like guys that have intent -- if you intend to do better at work, that's better than just sitting on your ass, or if you intend to lose weight, it masks the fact that you haven't done it yet and you probably won't ever.

Fast track to June 2003, will you remember your New Years resolution? Will you be applying it to your life 6 months from now? I doubt it. Resolutions are just a way for you to feel better by lying to yourself for a few hours.

So, what are my resolutions? Heh! I have none. I'm going to be the same sarcastic, piece of shit that I was last year. Now that's the honest truth. I didn't mask it. I was blunt about my intentions. So let's cut the crap, who gives a fuck about improving "for society" or "for yourself"? Just be the same person you've always been and like it or go find a hole and die.




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