Work-related Translations
By Nick.


WHAT YOU'RE THINKING:
He/She looks like a diseased lemur.
WHAT YOU SHOULD SAY:
His/her appearance is not acceptible.


WHAT YOU'RE THINKING:
I'm going to punch this fucker if he tells me what to do again...
WHAT YOU SHOULD SAY:
Yes sir, I'll get right on it!


WHAT YOU'RE THINKING:
I feel over worked and under paid like a nine year old girl working in an Asian sweatshop.
WHAT YOU SHOULD SAY:
I don't feel as if I'm being challenged.


WHAT YOU'RE THINKING:
If I don't get this promotion now, I will gouge your eyes out with my box cutter and put gasoline in your eye sockets.
WHAT YOU SHOULD SAY:
I'm willing to do whatever it takes to achieve success in this company.

WHAT YOU'RE THINKING:
My boss is a drooling dumbass.
WHAT YOU SHOULD SAY:
*** nothing ***



Reader Submitted
Work-related Translations.


By Steve (Macabre75@aol.com)
WHAT YOU'RE THINKING:
This job fucking sucks.
WHAT YOU SHOULD SAY:
I love my job (repeated 'till one actually believes this bullshit)


By Steve (Macabre75@aol.com)
WHAT YOU'RE THINKING:
Fuck no. I dont want to stay late. I got a fucking life.
WHAT YOU SHOULD SAY:
I would love the chance to show off my pride in my job and stay late.


By Jeff (http://www.buzzcat.net)
WHAT YOU'RE THINKING:
If you don't shut your pretentious holier than thou mouth and get the fuck out of my store, I'm gonna come over the cash register and shove that Danielle Steele book up your McDonald's and stupid offspringing fat ass, you arrogant cunt!
WHAT YOU SHOULD SAY:
Have a great day, and come back soon.


By Jeff (http://www.buzzcat.net)
WHAT YOU'RE THINKING:
(to the woman who speaks no English and has a mail-in coupon for free batteries, contingent upon buying a particular book in her hand, insisting somehow that you should give her the batteries.)

"Not only are you too fucking stupid to understand you must mail the goddamn thing in, you are arrogant enough to come into my store, not being able to speak English and expect us to know some obscure south-east Asian language. Go shove an eggroll up your ass."
WHAT YOU SHOULD SAY:
(on the telephone to mall security)

Hey, does anyone you know speak any Asian languages?



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