Random-ness
Written on Feb 15


This article is going to cover a few topics. I have some things I want to say, but I don't want to devote an entire article for each mini-segment that I want to write about. Here it goes.


1. DISCLAIMER, PT 2
Ok. Sometimes I write about things that are completely off the wall. Sometimes I borderline intelligence, with a mix of senility, psychotic ramblings, and general irritation with the world around me. Sometimes I write about my work place, or my personal life, and I might get a little carried away, but I don't care. Writing is how I release work-related tension. I'm sure my writing is probably going to get me fired or sued, or atleast get me flamed by a bunch of people. I'm doing my best not to slander, libel, or threaten any people or groups. Everything else I say falls under my first amendment rights, so feel free to lick my ass if you get offended. Or stab your genitals with a fork a few times.

I often take a satirical approach to my topics. I could write pages upon pages of bullshit to prove my point (like a blog, hah), but I don't. My intention is to entertain. I entertain myself and hopefully anybody who stumbles upon this page. My intended demographic is satire/anti-establishment. I will be more then happy to carry a serious conversation about any topic through electronic mail. Sometimes I can even be positive, understanding, and un-biased... only sometimes though. Basically what I'm trying to say is... if you think I'm an asshole, message me and tell me I'm an asshole and I'll do my best to prove you right. Thanks!


2. BIRD SEX
Animals have sex all the time. I find this rather intriguing, not so much in a sexual-fetish kind of way, but more in a humorous way. I'm sure animals think humans are weird for bouncing around on each other with all the screaming, panting, and moaning that occurs. Whatever.

Anyways, I saw some birds fuck the other day. I don't know if you guys know this or not, but birds are horny little fuckers! I watched one freaky bird mate with two other birdies. Their foreplay is kinda odd -- the aggressor-bird slowly pecked at the female bird's mouth. At first I thought he was eating some food out of her mouth, but I realized later that he was really saying, "I'm going to fuck you now".

I was sitting at a bench near the boardwalk, so there was people everywhere. A few girls stopped and watched the birds with us. Bird sex isn't really anything too exciting though. One bird jumped on the back of another bird. The bird on top does his best to balance, then he bends down and thrusts himself into the bird on the bottom. He does about four or five full thrusts, yadda yadda yah. This is how birds create baby birds -- even more little baby birdies to shit on my windshield. Greeeaat.


3. MIDGETS, HORSES, ETC.
If anyone happens to stumble across a video of a midget stroking a horse cock, please contact me. Actually, I'm just looking for any decent quality video(s) featuring midgets and horses together. I have a rather odd collection of disgusting and despicable videos, and I want more! Specifically, I'm looking to add more grotesque footage to my "midget-vids" folder. My videos are great conversation starters/enders. Trust me.

"Hey bro, have you seen this video?"
"What's it called?"
"3 arms. One ass."
"Ughhhh....."
"Or better yet, check this out... amputee'd midgets swimming!"
"EWW THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING. WHERE DO YOU FIND THIS SHIT, NICK???"

I will pay $20 U.S. cash for a video featuring a midget having sexual relations with a horse, or vice versa. I got a few buddies already scouring the internet hoping to earn their $20, but no luck so far. Got any really cool and fucked up vids? Email me.


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