I'm A Grocery Stocker
Written on Nov 06


FEB 17.03 - UPDATE: If you found this web site by doing a search for "stocker", or "grocery stocker", or anything in that related category than you should definately read the second part of this rant: Grocery Stocking Pt. 2 < /update >


For those of you that don't know, I'm a night-shift grocery stocker at a store called Vons. I put mass amounts of grocery product on the shelf and make it look pretty. This may sound boring to most of you but there's so much excitement to my job - the late night all you can eat binges, the paper towel football, breaking cases upon cases of expensive items and robbery attempts. Yes, I said robbery attempts.

Last night, Vons was shoplifted pretty badly, but I like to call it robbery. When it comes to Vons security, there really isn't any aside from a bunch of cameras. We don't have any armed guards or buffed out workers ready to kill. There's just me and my mexican co-worker, Juan. We are both skinny and we are both somewhat crazy. I can't fight at all, but I can run my mouth rather well and sound intimidating. Juan can't run his mouth, but he makes up for it in tough-guy attitude and fighting skills. (He's mexican, what did you expect?) Together we are Vons security.

Back to my story -- some really big dude walked into the store. He was about 6'7", 300lbs...and white. He was really THAT big. He was wearing a blue bandana and had a leather jacket on. He walked in like he owned the store and this immediately got my attention. I kept a close eye on him and he didn't really do anything suspicious. He went to our liquor aisle and got two expensive bottles of whisky and took them to the checkstand. I followed him to the checkstand and acted like I was fixing some bags up front. The checker began ringing up his purchases and the bagger non-chalantly bagged his liquor. His total came to roughly $160 for two bottles of liquor and two cartons of cigarettes. By this time, Juan and I are both at the front of the store messing around. Then the big motherfucker of a guy just picked up his bags and started walking towards the door. He didn't pay for his stuff! I thought to myself "I knew this guy was a piece of trash!". The checker began yelling "sir... sir... you need to pay for that". I knew exactly what he was doing and I started following him parallel to the door. Juan walked up behind him and said something and tried to grab his bag. The guy turned around and said, "I have a fucking gun". I looked right at him from about 8-9ft away and thought to myself, "No you don't, you fucking liar" and right as I walked towards him, the guy decked Juan. He hit Juan so hard his tooth and part of his lip flew out of his mouth and on the floor. I pulled out of my box cutter and glared at him. He didn't even give two shits about me. He picked up his bags of liquor and began WALKING out of the store. He walked across the street and only then did he start to run around the corner. Juan was kind of shook up because he was sucker-punched. He went to the hospital for a few hours and came back to work, minus a tooth. He's fine and in good spirits, but he really took a good shot. Just imagine a 300lb guy punching you in the lip un-suspectingly with full force. He would have knocked my little head off, luckily Juan is the tough guy. The cops came and took witness statements. It was only the second time I actually cooperated with police officers. The tooth is still MIA somewhere in the front area of Vons, Escondido.

I just hate when shit like that happens to anybody. I admit it, I'm a fucking thief. I steal shit left and right from stores just for kicks and giggles and my personal amusement, but I would NEVER, EVER hurt someone doing it. If someone got in my way, I would leave without an altercation. There is a unseen level of karma that goes with stealing -- steal whatever but don't hurt anybody. (My moral code is so warped). Especially someone half your size who's just doing his job. That's fucked up. The chances of me running into that guy again are pretty good. He walked out of the store so that means he lives near by. I'll find him and let karma catch up to him. Who knows... maybe karma will be 6 of my psychotic drug-induced friends with bats?


<< back