Neanderthal Mexican Gangsters
Written on Mar 24


There is a species of human that walks on this Earth that clearly proves Darwin's theory of evolution to me. Yes, man did evolve from primates. How do I know this?

All I have to do is step outside and yell "WESSSIDE" and about 50 Neanderthal Mexican gangsters will run around all crazy throwing gang signs and trying to stab shit. All because I declared a specific locale. On top of that, if I look at these assholes, they assume I'm trying to take over their territory or that I'm "dissing them". I could care less if they want to hang out and drink 40's in the park, but DON'T FUCKING BOTHER ME WHEN I'M WALKING AND DEFINATELY DON'T TALK SHIT TO ME WHEN I DRIVE BY.

What the fuck is up with their gang signs? I'm a skinny white boy with blonde hair and blue eyes. I look like I belong at a Blink 182 show, but I guess the gangsters on the street must have mistaken me for a rival, because everywhere I go some gangster is whistling and throwing signs.

GEE, I SURE LOOK LIKE A FUCKING GANGSTER, DON'T I? MY CARGO JEANS AND HURLEY "ELEMENT" SHIRTS MUST BE GANG APPARREL EVIDENT OF MY GANG AFFILIATION, HUH? WHAT ABOUT MY SPIKEY BLONDE HAIR AND EYEBROW PIERCING?


These stupid fucks are easily identifiable by their attire. Brown, blue, or red button-up flannel shirts, dickies work pants, and hair nets are all synonymous with the Neanderthal Mexican gang member. Most of them carry knives or some sort of "shank", which is usually a fork with duct tape on the handle or something similar. Most of them are too poor to drive a car, but if they do, it's usually stolen or bought with drug money at the swap meet. Almost all the gangsters smoke weed and drink malt liquor, but some -hardcore- vatos deal and use crystal meth. I notice alot of missing Sudafed, drain cleaner, lye, and brillo pads at my store because of their new found addictions.

Most people know that one gangster is not a threat. He is scared without his "homies", but he'll still talk shit because he knows he could get 15 friends to crawl out of the bushes, trash cans, and from under cars just by doing his gangster whistle. I've noticed that whenever gangsters are listening to rap music, they act like rappers. I guess listening to Tupac makes you more gangster, huh? A car full of gangsters all listening to Tupac is lethal - that means there is a car full of wannabe Tupac's thinking they're "thug life". Toss in some cheap Mickey's malt liquor and Mexican weed and you got exactly the type of gangster I've been writing about.

I wish these stupid assclowns would shank their balls off so they don't reproduce more stupid gangsters for my generation of kids to deal with.

UGH, ANGER FILLS MY VEINS. HOW CAN PEOPLE BE SO IGNORANT?? I WANT TO KILL THEM ALL!



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