Nick vs. COPS
Written on Jan 19


I have the propensity to attract COPS. I've had my experience(s) with local police, highway patrol, DEA, FBI, and the cops that serve warrants. I do my best to obey most laws, but trouble seems to know where I am just about all the time. Last Friday was no exception.

Anybody who reads this web site knows about my car. I have alot more faith in my car now then I ever did. Surprisingly, my car can actually travel at a high rate of speed, but the tires are fucked, so I rarely drive it any faster than 85mph. I was bored and in the mood for a drive last Friday night, so I decided to check out the San Diego races and see if they were still any good. They sucked as usual. I got bored. I was getting tired. I wanted to go home. So I hit the freeway and drove pretty damn fast because I was running low on gas and I wanted to get home so I could sleep.

OK, SO WHAT'S THE STORY WITH THE COPS?

I was going 100mph on 805 South in La Jolla. I zoomed past La Jolla Village Dr. and was on my way towards Mira Mesa Blvd when I noticed highway patrol lights behind me. It was going to take the cops a long time to reach me because they must had been parked behind a bridge or coming from an on-ramp. I had about 1/4 mile distance ahead of them.

NICK, IT'S JUST A SPEEDING TICKET.
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST STOP?

I don't have a license or insurance. I have a permit, that's it. I couldn't get my license because my car got rejected at the DMV for the behind the wheel test. (I have no mirrors, the fender is hanging off, and the blinkers don't work in the front). Second, I'm on probation for GTA. (Because I stole a golf cart two years ago, that's another story). My probation clearly states that if I'm caught speeding over 80mph, it's a probation violation. So I would be going to jail for a few months and nobody could afford my bail.

SO WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?

I turned off all my lights and gunned it. My only way of escaping was to take the next off-ramp and hopefully hide. Luckily, Scripps hospital was on the next exit, so if I did get caught, atleast I could tell the cop I had to get to the hospital for an emergency. I was going to tell him I had a spider bite or something. It's a lame excuse for speeding, but a viable excuse nonetheless. I took the impending off-ramp at speeds over excess of 100mph. There was a car in front of me so I just used the emergency lane and by- passed him. I was going so fast that I couldn't successfully make the right hand turn from the off-ramp. I flew over a curb, between two street lights and into oncoming traffic. Luckily there wasn't any traffic at 3am in this area. I regained control of the car and took the first right turn. I looked back and saw two sets of police lights reflecting off my back window.

DID THE PO-PO GET YOUR ASS?

Luckily, no. The right turn I took led to a private parking structure for the hospital. This area was surrounded by alot of trees and buildings. I parked and jumped out of the car and ran through some trees and bushes until I could see the freeway from where I was standing. I saw two more highway patrol officers getting off the off-ramp and one patroling the bridge across the street. I sat my skinny ass down on the ground and waited. Then I waited some more. I was kinda scared because my car was the only car in the entire parking lot. But atleast they couldn't put me at the scene. It was impossible for them to get my license plate or even the make and model of my car because it was so dark.

DOES THIS STORY END?

Yes. I accessed the damage to the car. I had punctured my front, right tire and bent the rim AGAIN. My front left tire and rim were both terminally fucked too. I have a dent just below the driver-side door. It's not a small dent either. It looks like a buffalo ran head first into my car. The alignment is destroyed compliments to the curb. Whenever I let go of the wheel, the car swerves 45 degrees to the right. I was still able to drive the car home, however I didn't go any faster than 50mph. I'm sure if I went any faster the car would have exploded. So now I have to pay $400 in car repairs. That's ok with me though. That price is alot better than the alternative.

I'm sure it would have been a good show for COPS.

"See a skinny whiteboy try to outrun the cops, next on FOX!"




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